A lady desired to communicate by electricity to her husband in the city the size of an illuminated text which she had promised for the Sunday-school room. When the order reached him it read, "Unto us a child is born, nine feet long by two feet wide."
An Irishman complained to his physician that "he stuffed him so much with drugs that he was ill a long time after he got well."
Want more? Today's Homeschool Freebie: English as She Wuz Wrote, a vintage e-text.